Spring Break Cometh
Well, it's been a couple weeks since Greenlight, and Forkdrift has gone from a team of six to a team of twelve. It's been an interesting transition, and it feels good to have all these new members on board. I didn't know most of them too well, but it's nice to be working alongside new people, as well as growing closer to them.
The Greenlight experience and the discussions that followed were somewhere between everything like I dreamed of and nothing I expected. If I could go back and talk to little college freshman Max, I'd tell him not to overthink everything. I was always so paranoid that every little thing would go wrong and it wouldn't be good enough, and that some overly complex social connections would end up determining everything. In my experience, that's not how things work. We all just want to make cool games. To an extent, I'm still a paranoid worrywart, but I'm a lot less of that. It feels like I'm growing up. Bleurgh, maturity.
This has been our second week with the extended team, so it still feels like we're in an adjustment period (at least to me). Our previous Sprint was mostly spent planning and researching... not my cup of tea. This Sprint was actually spent getting new content in, which has been nice. I've taken a shift from the generalist design needed in such short development cycles to focusing on mechanics development and running QA testing and analysis. Apparently I've done a good job on analyzing QA (and I'm still not groovy with having my teammates clap for something like that), but I'm not pleased with my job on the mechanics front. It's taking me much longer than I'd have liked to get anything meaningful done. While I can blame my other classes for getting in the way, I think the main issue has been the productivity slump I've fallen into.
For the past two weeks or so, I've been really unmotivated. I think it could be the post-Greenlight blues, my depression acting up, or maybe just some Valentine's Day aftermath, but my head has been everywhere but on my work recently. This upcoming week is Spring Break, which I feel can't come soon enough... although now that I'm exiting my rut it'd be nice if Spring Break was a week or two sooner. I'll be flying home to Philadelphia, but that's neither here nor there. Well, it's there, but... irrelevant.
I think an accurate way to describe how I've been feeling would be to say that I'm teetering on burnt out and overwhelmed. I blame my poor time management, and to an extent, myself for letting it get to this point. I get better every day, but there's the fear that I'm not getting better fast enough. It'll be nice to kick back and unwind a bit next week, but there's plenty of work I intend to do over the break anyways. Come to think of it, I should make a habit of posting on this blog more often over break!
something something signing off and going to bed